i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
This house was built for laser tag.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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