I seem to have left my pride at pride
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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