Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
