He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
