i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
