so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Randomize
