i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
