put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
