IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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