just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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