i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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