i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize