im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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