I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
