can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
my poor anus
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize