So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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