i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
