yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
