How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
