Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
