You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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