I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
