Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize