Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
