She is in my trunk
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
