Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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