So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
If that was your dad, he is hot
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
