So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize