god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
