I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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