:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize