Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
