Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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