My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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