She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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