So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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