her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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