you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
