i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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