The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
