I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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