i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
