This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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