and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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