You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
