I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
