I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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