Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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