Its about making memories worth repressing
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
