By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
