i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
