Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
vagina is talking i cant
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
