Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I have aggressive nipples.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
