is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
