I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
